I miss the days of livejournal. I wrote such sloppy TMI posts and it felt good and nasty and stupid and embarrassing and relieving and Nancy would comment on them and we would see each other in real life and not talk about it.  

Now the internet is scarier and and more crowded and I have a harder time putting a proper sentence together, and also there is this whole "blogging revolution" thing happening. More people are talking about the implications of a generation of omg narcissistic bloggers and I kind of think it's funny. I remember first discovering diaryland in high school, thinking it was amazing, and creating my own diary, and it just made me happy to connect to similar strangers emotionally because I couldn't do it with anyone in real life. It's funny how the difference between "high schoo"l art and writing and "real life" art and writing is that when you're older you have to be smarter and comment on the world around you and not just yourself and your emotions and your small world, whatever. The former stage is still more exciting to me, and that feels ok but embarrassing. I don't know the point of this other than becoming a professional blogger seems very fun and exciting but the pressure is kind of retarded, and very sexist I feel. 

So I don't believe blogging is that narcissistic, and I think it is a good thing for people to do and read. So I guess what I am doing, like a nerd trying to ask you out, is trying to say that I would like to blog and have people read it but it's so embarrassing and I also don't want anyone to think I am stupid, which is why this blog is a secret and I don't know if anyone will read it, but all these other people write dumb blogs and get paid for it and I am jealous. 

But also, is it weird that I would rather read most people's blogs than talk to them?