It's always very satisfying to remember the funny/quirky/cool things you did as a kid, and then be proud of them today. It's as if it's proof that you have been cool since the days of yore and are not a poseur of today. One of these things I am proud of is my childhood love for pizza.
1. As a 6 year-old, I didn't understand what my dad did at work. He was an engineer. (I still don't understand what he does at work) Anyway, that sounded (still sounds) so boooring to me, so when Natalie asked me at school what my dad's job was, I lied and came up with the most glamorous job I could think of: I told her that my dad was a pizza delivery man for Dominoes. I think she thought it was cool, and being so impressed, went home and told her mom I was lucky because my dad brought home free pizza every night. Then (I don't remember this part but Natalie told me about it) her mom talked to my mom and I guess mentioned it to her, and then my mom told her that my dad was an engineer for some company and did not deliver pizza for Dominoes. boo.
2. One time, around the same age, I was at my grandparents' house and had the most brilliant idea for a book (pieces of printer paper folded and stapled together). It was all about a pizza company called "One Bite Pizza" that delivered pizza boxes with one slice of pizza with the tip bitten off. In short the story went like this: a very hungry man with a mullet (I specifically remember he had a spiky mullet) calls up One Bite Pizza, orders a pizza, opens the door, discovers one slice in a box with a bite taken out, yells "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!", calls One Bite Pizza to complain, talks to a snippy customer service bitch named Gladys (who tells him the bite is their trademark), and then gets a gun and goes to kill Gladys. Complete with funny pencil illustrations. I asked my mom to mail it to me, but she was sure my dad would not want to give it up. I think the violence kind of worried my mom, but I'm pretty sure my dad was really, sincerely impressed and proud of me for this.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
psychic
It's been awhile and I've been discouraged to write. This blog feels so gross and sloppy now, because I need to go and change all my picture links, since I had to set all my flickr photos to private (thereby changing the links), because my stalker found me again -- due to my own stupidity. Then I had my privacy violated by the breaking in and going through of all my personal belongings; the subsequent finding out about this miserable person using my computer while I was at work; who knows how many times. Anyway, I've obviously wanted people to fuck off and it's made me feel stupid for writing my personal things on the internet, again. I have gotten in trouble so many times with these things.
I am back from China now, and I have pictures, maybe I will put them on my Flickr (boohoo). Actually I started this wanting to write about a particular thing, but I started by apologizing, and that took too much time, and I can't remember the original thing now....uh............
Well I can't remember, so these are some new things:
The Dr. says Mark has asthma: I am worried about him. I think I am going to go buy a vacuum from Target because I have been sneezing and allergic to my own bed since I've been back. I saw on Oprah that you should vacuum your mattress for dust mites which can cause breathing problems. So then I am going to vacuum Mark's mattress and make him vacuum his whole room (ha ha). It sounds kind of fun and satisfying. I also think he has a lot of mold spores in his apartment from rain leaking in every time it rains, and it's been wetting under the floor for years. Then he has no ventilation and smokes a lot. He's part of the inhaler club now!
Last night I had some of the most vivid, psychic, psychedelic dreams ever. They were kind of lucid dreams. Firstly, in real life, I felt very powerful and pretended to cure Mark's breathing problems as I drifted off to sleep, and it seemed to be working, because when I put my arm around him and concentrated energy onto him, he stopped wheezing! Then I dreamed about seeing a glass case full of crystals and I was staring into them and they were projecting all kinds of light, different colors, and energy and I was absorbing it and it started levitating me.
Another one: I ordered a pizza from Target, then I went out to the parking lot to find Mark. I was aware I was dreaming, and I imagined that in my dream I was communicating with Mark in real life, so I asked him, "Mark, did you know you're in my dream right now?" and he goes "yes" and it was very ghostly and ethereal and romantic (he was kind of see through) and I floated over to him like it was a movie, and I think we even both had our hands outstretched to each other very melodramatically, and it was in slow motion.
The next one, really fast, was somehow I was chosen for a government experiment about outer space. They simulated outer space and my sister was there and Nancy was there. They were watching us do things (?) Nancy figured out how to fly: you look at the ceiling and visualize your head touching it, and you just go. Then we all figured out how to raise objects telekinetically. This felt very very real.
I wonder why, on top of them being AWESOME, that my dreams are so cheesy?
I am back from China now, and I have pictures, maybe I will put them on my Flickr (boohoo). Actually I started this wanting to write about a particular thing, but I started by apologizing, and that took too much time, and I can't remember the original thing now....uh............
Well I can't remember, so these are some new things:
The Dr. says Mark has asthma: I am worried about him. I think I am going to go buy a vacuum from Target because I have been sneezing and allergic to my own bed since I've been back. I saw on Oprah that you should vacuum your mattress for dust mites which can cause breathing problems. So then I am going to vacuum Mark's mattress and make him vacuum his whole room (ha ha). It sounds kind of fun and satisfying. I also think he has a lot of mold spores in his apartment from rain leaking in every time it rains, and it's been wetting under the floor for years. Then he has no ventilation and smokes a lot. He's part of the inhaler club now!
Last night I had some of the most vivid, psychic, psychedelic dreams ever. They were kind of lucid dreams. Firstly, in real life, I felt very powerful and pretended to cure Mark's breathing problems as I drifted off to sleep, and it seemed to be working, because when I put my arm around him and concentrated energy onto him, he stopped wheezing! Then I dreamed about seeing a glass case full of crystals and I was staring into them and they were projecting all kinds of light, different colors, and energy and I was absorbing it and it started levitating me.
Another one: I ordered a pizza from Target, then I went out to the parking lot to find Mark. I was aware I was dreaming, and I imagined that in my dream I was communicating with Mark in real life, so I asked him, "Mark, did you know you're in my dream right now?" and he goes "yes" and it was very ghostly and ethereal and romantic (he was kind of see through) and I floated over to him like it was a movie, and I think we even both had our hands outstretched to each other very melodramatically, and it was in slow motion.
The next one, really fast, was somehow I was chosen for a government experiment about outer space. They simulated outer space and my sister was there and Nancy was there. They were watching us do things (?) Nancy figured out how to fly: you look at the ceiling and visualize your head touching it, and you just go. Then we all figured out how to raise objects telekinetically. This felt very very real.
I wonder why, on top of them being AWESOME, that my dreams are so cheesy?
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