the ultimate

Hello, it's been awhile, and I'm a bit depressed. It's mostly the winter's gray skies and short days, and of course, my lousy stagnant suffocating job that isn't horrible enough for me to quit, blah blah. But something else just hit me right now. Since I'm mostly feeling ugnghhh and not UGGHHHRRGGHH, I thought, I just need a new vibrator to brighten my spirits. But then I thought, why bother. I already have the Ultimate.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is so wonderful, perfect, and dependable. You don't have to change it's batteries. It never acts up. Its humongous pillowy head is perfect, so that you don't have to cramp your hand maneuvering it around your genitals. It hits it all! I want to get excited about a new vibrator, but I just don't need one. I don't want to mess with pussy ass AA batteries. I don't want the shame I feel when I have to walk around the corner and fork over $8 for a pack of humongous C batteries. I don't need another big strong one that plugs into the wall. I have hit the glass ceiling of sex toys.

So I'm still longing for a new sex toy to brighten up this winter, maybe not a vibrator. I'm not that into dildos though. I feel like, as anti-feminist as this may sound, that's what boys are for. My penetration needs are fulfilled by boyfriend, my jackhammer strength vibrator needs are fulfilled by Hitachi. What about butt toys? meh...I have a good butt plug and we have a butt plug vibrator already that we never use. I think butt sex is more of a summer thing anyway. What else is there? Fetishy toys...beyond a flogger it's too corny. Strap on....not really into that idea lately. Maybe I should just shut up and go to Early to Bed.

what what what is there to buy....the only possible thing I think I could use for fun and novelty/humor purposes is the dildo that suction cups to the wall. So I could have a threesome with Mark and my wall. Or suction it onto the door and have Mark swing the door open and closed. Or put it on the refrigerator for decoration. The only thing, is that if I remember correctly, this thing was slightly expensive.

Oh, I am just so SAD.