It's been a weird week.

Let's just start this by saying I have a clove of garlic up my vag, because it sounds absurd.

See, Saturday night, in Mark's enthusiastic quest to please me, he stimulated my g-spot with some dirty ass fingers; I have been consistently more itchy since then. Last night I kept awaking in the middle of the night to find myself scratching myself, and it wasn't comfortable, and I am pretty sure I looked unattractive. This is how my vagina is doing. Anyone who pays $20 to the man for some crazy chemicals from Monistat to kill off yeast needs to hear this. This is a public service anouncement: don't buy yeast infection medication. They used to be prescription only, because they are so strong. Consistently using them could lead to your yeast developing a tolerance to the medication, creating a super yeast that cannot be easily killed and may take over the world! You just need a clove of garlic wrapped in gauze, inserted up there like a tampon. Or some plain yogurt squirted up there (somehow). My sister thinks this sounds disgusting, but is fully willing to overpay for some unknown, smelly, goopy chemicals that she'd shoot up there and have dripping out all night/day, while I have a firmly placed organic non-drippy piece of seasoning in me.

I don't think I even smell like garlic bread. It's a win-win situation!

Otherwise, my apartment got broken into, nothing was stolen from me, but my diary was found sitting atop my bed. Roomie's computer and camera were stolen, which really sucks. There was no evidence of a forced entry.....so we're thinking... someone who had a key... hmmmm?

This was the same day that Milly the Millionaire was struck by a car and killed. It's very sad because she is one of the best dogs that ever lived, and her life was gone so fast. I even cried a little bit, and she's not my dog!

Also there is a lot of drama going on in my friends' friendships and relationships, and for once, my relationships are going good (as far as I know). I'm not used to not being the one with shitty things happening all in a row. I mean, I did have a break-in and a yeast infection, but I feel completely normal, just sitting here with garlic wedged between the walls of my vaginal canal, designing mirror plaques. Sarah's coming Friday, and we're all going camping!